Competitive-aggressive, arrogance & chronic thunder stealers. Let’s talk about this! Competitiveness, when activated in healthy amount is a powerful force that drives people to achieve remarkable feats. But, when used to mask aggressiveness, can have negative effects. Competitive-aggressive people engage in certain behaviors just to outperform others.
Roots of competitive-aggressive behavior
One way to be unhappy is to resist our natural ability to relate to other people. Some program themselves to cause & create divide instead of working for “togetherness.” This happens when we are arrogant. Arrogance creates interpersonal distance. When you are arrogant, you act too proud & behave as if you’re more important or know more than other people. Arrogance pushes people away because you think you already know everything.
Arrogant people love to spread rumors or gossips, tarnishing others’ reputation & getting out of their way to exclude others. Whenever they have a chance, they try to assert their imagined superiority. Their superiority though is just their illusion. When you spot these people, it’s best to refuse to play their game. Ignore & don’t participate. Remember that you have your own authentic game to play!
Chronic thunder stealers
Those who mask their aggression could also be chronic thunder stealers. These are people who consistently try to take credit for or even share news before others have a chance to do so. Imagine a situation where a person always try to be the first to announce significant events or achievements, even if it means stealng the spotlight from others who had the same plans before them.
The phrase “stealing thunder”
By the way, the phrase “stealing thunder” has its origins in the theater. In the 18th century, dramatist John Dennis invented a novel thunder machine for his play but someone else stole his machine without his permission. This person used his thunder machine during a Macbeth performance. Thunder stealer!
Dealing with chronic thunder stealers
Chronic thunder stealers are frustrating & exhausting to deal with & talk to, especially when they consistently undermine others’ moments of joy or accomplishment. Chronic thunder stealers use another person’s ideas, inventions, or achievements to their advantage. They consistently try to grab the spotlight even if it means overshadowing others. That’s why I realized it’s best not to share your ideas with people like this until it’s done. It’s like they’re programmed to one up others.
Personal experience with competitive-aggressive
There’s this person whom I used to share my original ideas to. Unfortunately, I would often subtly feel like they’re racing me to execute my ideas. They don’t acknowledge me as the source as well. It’s honestly a weird vibe so I no longer tell anything to this person. They would usually end up making me feel bad because they use any important & personal idea that I share with them. Then, they make it seem like it was their original thought. Yikes! I only pieced it together lately because I didn’t think too much of it before.
My personality is a collaborator, so I usually share ideas & allow it to grow. But to me, it’s also important to have awareness & acknowledge where you got an idea no matter how subtle the cue was. Make it a point to always tag the person who inspired you – that is an important show of respect. I admire James Clear for always doing this on his newsletters
“When should I have stopped?” –Phoebe Buffay, F.R.I.E.N.D.S
(click here for more Phobe Buffay fun quotes)
Excessive competitiveness can lead to conflict with others. When people value winning over collaborating, it usually ends up straining relationships & developing unnecessary stress. Too much of anything is harmful. So, remember what T.Harv Eker said on his book, avoid surrounding yourself with negative people. And if you really, absolutely have to be around these people – bring your steel umbrella to shield yourself from their negativity.
Coffee Soon,
Anne